By Malcolm D. Welshman
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A bizarro Christmas tale. .. jam-packed with intercourse and violenceSanta is not the jolly previous elf he is been defined as in kid's tales. he is a piece extra ugly than that. His eyes are pimento-stuffed olives, his enamel are walnuts, and his physique is made up of sausages. One snowy Christmas Eve, whereas traveling the Fry kinfolk, Sausagey Santa is attacked by way of an evil strength that's pushed to spoil Christmas perpetually.
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Extra resources for Pets in a Pickle
We’ve been married now these past 22 years and we still get on like the proverbial house on fire. ’ He gave another grin. ’ I didn’t. But had a sneaking feeling I’d find out soon enough if I took the post on. As a demonstration, a small conflagration occurred when Eric confronted Beryl in reception over the mix-up around the interviews. It seems the gardener was due to be seen tomorrow and not today as Eric thought. ’ A crimson glow spread up her scrawny neck to lose itself in a heavy pan of make-up.
Dr Crystal Sharpe’s hands to be precise. She of cutting fame, an expert in all things surgical. I just prayed an Indian Hill mynah’s rear end came within that remit. Miss McEwan was relieved when I told her. ‘Could I leave Cedric with you now then,’ she went on. ‘It would be much easier than taking the cage all the way home and then back again. What with these …’ Her hands did their hallelujah wave again. Oh Lord. Just what was I letting myself in for? The rest of the morning was punctuated by a piercing monologue echoing up from the ward as Cedric repeatedly shrieked, ‘What’s your name?
I retreated, preferring to confront the barbs of Major Fitzherbert’s tongue to the multiple lashings I was getting from the gorse and brambles. I felt the parting rasp of a briar as I struggled back to the relative safety of the border; I could feel the Major’s eyes on me as I carefully edged through his delphiniums and lupins – lined up like soldiers on parade. Woe betide me if I broke their ranks. ’ crowed the Major as I hopped back on to the path, plants intact, self-confidence crushed. ‘He’s a cunning beast.